Letter of Truth

Dear ex-roommate,
You know who you are. I'm not writing this to apologise, so don't get your hopes up. I didn't move out of that stupid apartment because of you. I moved out because your actions were getting on my nerves. And that you assumed that I'd be okay with everything you did because I was your roommate? And because I never said anything? Well guess what, you were wrong. By you bringing your boyfriend over every day, you think it's cute? And you think it's alright that he sleeps over every single day? Oh look, my boyfriend makes me do all this stuff for him, and I clean up after him because he manipulates me to do all this stuff, and I'm doing this because I love him. Yeah, right. He was a fricking douchebag. Never cleaned up after himself, never really was considerate of others, never really acted like a real friend. I don't even know how you can put up with him. I hope one day, you will realise that he is a real jerk and you two break up. I would feel sorry for you but I just don't anymore. Okay, I bring my boyfriend over sometimes, and he sleeps over, but at least I asked. So next time he does something, at least be considerate of others. We had to clean up after his messes. His vomit, his trash, his blown-up pizza in my microwave. And not only that, you were also inconsiderate. I guess you got that from him, huh? You never even asked whose dish rack that was, and just assuming it was there forever, you just used it, and forced me to use the dishwasher. Also, you have a fricking full size bed in the room. Do you know how annoying that is? It's like you're taking up 3/4 of the room, and I can't even complain. Not only that, it's like you have no privacy. Do you know how many times I was basically forced to use the living room because he was sleepin in the bedroom. "I could just sleep on the couch," That's not the problem. The problem is that he just crashes here for like months without feeling any guilt. That's not logical at all. He doesn't even act like a decent human being. Telling the RD was the first step of my plan. I have much more to come. So watch out.

I Saw Ryan Out One Morning Playin'

So there was this one guy I had this HUGE crush on in high school, and he now goes to the same college as I do.  Let's call him Ryan.  So I saw him quite a few times during the years I've been at college.  So he's in a fraternity called Phi Kappa Sigma. Or at least I think that's what it's called. I looked it up lol. And so he was rushing for his fraternity. Aka recruiting freshmen and new members to his frat. Not really haha. They just sit there and do nothing for a few hours.  I swear, there's like three columns of sororities and fraternities rushing, and they're either on their phones or talking to each other. Anyways, so I was walking by his frat, and he saw me and gave me this weird look.  Like that look when you haven't seen someone in a long time and you forgot their name but they look familiar look. Either that or a really confused look. Cuz I was with my boyfriend at the time, but he doesn't know Ryan. well he knows who Ryan is, but not what he looks like.  Anyways, while after we passed each other, I got this weird feeling in me.  Like I still have feelings for him, and I'm pretty sure he knows who I am anyways. Well he may have known that I liked him back in high school, but he knows who I am.  He commented on my birthday post to him.  Yes, I still know his birthday.

So...

Since I've been talking about boys a lot, I've actually started dating one. I won't say was his name is, but he's literally the sweetest thing.  Let's call him Sean.  So Sean and I met on the day of the college placement exam.  Well, sorta.  I added him on Facebook because I thought he was cool and pretty chill.  And then he just started talking to me ;)
So then, after we met, we started talking to each other like literally EVERY DAY. And on Skype too, for no real apparent reason.  Maybe it's cuz he wanted to add me on Skype?  Haha, I have no idea.  Well, maybe it was that day that I found three of my Skypes (yes, I forgot that I made three lol) and I posted that I had three Skypes on Facebook and he told me to add him. LOL.  So then we just started talking every day on Skype after that.  And he would always be the one to start the conversation, not me, cuz I'm shy like that.
So then fast forward about a few weeks, he wanted to hang out with me, you know, just as friends.  I guess I wanted to too, but I never really got around to it.  He was the one who suggested the idea first...I think. \
So then we hung out, and we were having so much fun that we didn't even notice that we hung out for like FIVE HOURS!!
Fast forward about a month, I went to China with my dad (my mom had work :( ), but I would still talk to him like in the middle of the day, and I felt so bad because it would be like 11 or 12 at night where he was.  I had a lot of fun just like casually talking to him, telling him about my day and stuff.  But it was hard trying to find Wi-Fi hotspots, since I didn't have texting, and I lost my phone about halfway through the trip by dropping it into a river. But yeah it was pretty fun.
And when I got to college, we met and hung out for a couple of days, just as friends, and I met his roommates, and they seemed pretty chill, but not now haha. I'll tell you about that later. He would always go into my room because he had a triple and 90% of the time, his roommates would be in the room, and I had a double and my roommate wouldn't be there 90% of the time.  So one day, after this party thing we had at my college, he and I just went into my room because he apparently has an obsession with the amount of space he has in my room lol. And we were dead tired, so we were just messing around in my bed, when he randomly asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes.
And everything went on from there. I'm still dating Sean and two days ago, it was our 7-month. :)

Oh, Him? We're Just Friends :)

Okay, so I graduated from high school, and our school holds this tradition of grad night after graduation.
So I went. And my friend, let's call him Jake.
So, I found out that Jake was going to grad night, and my friends made fun of me. They think that every time Jake comes up to me, he's flirting with me. Uh. No. I don't even like him.

-FLASHBACK-
During prom, in which Jake didn't go (whew! - you'll see why), my friends dared me to go up to Jake and kiss him. LIKE HECK NO.
And one time, he was messaging me in class (I had computers, he had library aide), one of my friends saw, and she typed "I love you" when I wasn't looking, and I got so mad at her! Like, no freaking way.

Anyways, I hoped that there would be other people I knew coming to grad night. And there was. So I wasn't stuck with Jake all night.
So then, we're on the bus to grad night, and my friends and I talk about girl stuff. Like boys and stuff. And Jake just sits with us. Like, awkward, much? Anyways...
So then, we get on a boat out in the harbor, and Jake starts talking to me. But we're just friends, nothing less, nothing more. And then, I think he sensed that I was lonely cause we're both not the party/dance kind of person, since all my other friends had gone to the dance floor. We were both just like sitting there, staring off into space. Then he broke the silence. He was suggesting that I go to the deck to check out the view and stuff. I would have taken my phone, but it was at 20%, I didn't bring my charger, and I didn't bring my camera either. So...no show.

And then, yeah. We just did typical friend stuff. And then my other friends who went to the dance floor came back. And one of them liked the bartender on the boat. So then a bunch of my other friends, with the exception of a few friends and I, were teasing her about it. And then near the end of the boat ride, she told him he was cute and left. The bartender got all red and stuff. It was weird. Keep in mind that Jake left, so he has no idea of this.

So we got back on the bus, and almost all of us, with the exception of a few of my friends and I, kept asking my friend, let's call her Carrie. Let's do some name games here. Let's call the bunch of friends who keep annoying her the B team. And call me and the few friends who don't really care the A team. So, B would not stop asking Carrie about him. And then Jake was asking me what the heck was going on, and I had to lower my voice to tell him, and he kept saying "What?" because I guess my voice was either too low or too hard to hear with all the noise B was making. And when I finally told him, he kinda laughed it off.

So then, we were on the bus to Fast Track (made up name). Jake was sitting next to me, so we like talked. I asked him if he knows anything about Fast Track, and he said he Googled it. Nice. Almost throughout the whole bus ride, he was saying how he would race all of us. But he never actually did.

We got off the bus to Fast Track and the first thing he does is hit the race tracks. I've played racing games on my phone, but this was the real deal. We tried the drag racing first. After we did it, we both agreed it was awesome. The acceleration...mind blowing. We wanted to do this one racetrack, but it required a driver's license, and we both didn't have licenses. So then we just walked around, and he saw this miniature golf course and we just played. I'm a big Disney freak, so that reminded me of that one episode of Barbara and Cody's date on the miniature golf course. Which bugged me. Cause Jake and I were just hanging out. Asdfghjkl. I wished I'd never had that thought.
So then, after like two hours of racing and playing video games, I started to get tried and really sleepy, so I went into the movie room and started to watch the movie. After I think a few minutes, I just fell asleep. I woke up a few minutes later, and turns out, I woke up just in time to get on the bus back to school. 

On the bus ride back to school, there was dead silence. Everyone was so tired. I sat next to Jake again. He had the window seat. Lucky. First, we talked about random stuff. He always liked to make fun of me cuz I liked I liked One Direction, mostly Harry Styles of One Direction. After a few minutes, both Jake and I fell asleep on the bus ride back to school. After about ten minutes later, I felt something heavy on my left shoulder. Must be my bag, I thought. But then I realized I didn't have much in my bag, except phone and my iPod. I opened one eye and realized that Jake had fallen asleep and his head was resting on my shoulder.

Oh wells. No biggie, right? 

Oi.

Another guy?  Really??  Just when I thought it was over, you show up. Just great.

Let's call him Sam.

So this Sam kid, he's a freshman.  I know, you're a senior, you're about to graduate, and you're crushing on a FRESHMAN?!?!

He was in one of the classes that I'm TA fsor.  This crush didn't start until like January. That's also when I got my first phone. It's a smartphone. An Android. And I used it. For good.

Anyways, so he's really nice and all to me.  Like he'll just say hi to me around campus.  He actually did that during the first few weeks of first semester, when he learned my name faster than I could learn his.  He just said hi to me and I didn't know who this kid was, so being a good person, I just said hi back.

I think I may have understood why I fell for him in the first place.  He looks a heck of a lot like my first crush, Johnny.  Am I just using him to replace Johnny?

Anyways, I figured out that I am going to the same college that Johnny goes to, so....

WHATEVER.

Back to Sam.

Since I'm TA, I enter in grades and once I accidentally clicked on the wrong tab, which brought me to all the students' information, so playing around with it, I decided to look him up.  I figured out where he lived.  I also know his email, which is very unique. It wasn't in the gradebook, but he had to use his email to login to this site my teacher uses. So I was helping him with it, and I saw his email. It's firstname@lastname.com.

But I'm not spilling.

A few weeks after this, he did a very awkward thing.  I was going around the room stamping homework.  When I got to his desk, he asked if he could stamp his homework instead.  So I said yes.  And then he grabbed the stamp and pulled up his shirt and stamped his stomach.  :O

He's really tall and skinny for a freshman.  That explains why he chooses to do the sport that he does.

Not saying!

I think he might be the same height as I am...which is kinda tall. For a freshman.

So then, a few weeks later, he asked what my middle name was.  As I was going around checking and stamping homework.

So I told him.

Do I like him?

Or do I just like the feeling of liking him?

I don't even know.

Another One?

So...
About that OTHER guy that came into my life...

Let's call him Bobby.

So Bobby was in two of my classes junior year. He would keep giving me this weird stare every time I went up to present something.  He also kept sneaking glances at me. He's been doing that ever since my sophomore year, but I didn't notice it until junior year.

But then, I had this weird feeling.  I think I started to like him. But this wasn't until the second semester of my junior year, like May or something.

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So then, senior year approached.  I don't know if I liked him.  I think I did.

He got a girlfriend back in December.

I knew they wouldn't last because they seemed to have NOTHING in common.

She liked singing; he liked playing video games. She liked dancing.  He liked listening to music.  He would bring his iTouch to school every day and I would see him, every day, with his earphones in his ears!

Then, I started getting jealous.  But it didn't last very long. My jealousy and their relationship.  So they got together in December and broke up around mid-Feburary.

TOLD YOU SO!!!!

But then, I had this feeling that he wanted to get me back, but it was too late.  I've already moved on.  I wasn't thinking about him anymore.

Then, when I think it all ended, someone else came into my life.

Another guy.

WHEN WILL THIS END????

As Time Went By...

It seemed like Johnny didn't know that I existed when I saw him at school.  We were friends, but nothing more.  Well, at least it seemed like it.  I liked to look at his profile and stalk him.  I even kept a secret album of his pictures.

Then, junior year came, and for some reason, my crushing on him slowly faded, as time went by.  For many other reasons: I was busy with other stuff (homework, SATs...), this other guy came into my life.

Anyways, this is about Johnny.  I think I crushed on him because he reminded me of a younger version of myself: talkative, always getting into trouble, a little immature at times...